Funniest Science Jokes – Not AI!
Here is my curated list of science puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!
Science puns and jokes
- There are only bad science jokes left. All the good ones argon.
- Why is the moon so broke? It’s down to its last quarter.
- What do rich clouds do? They make it rain.
- We have got to stop talking about mitosis… It’s such a divisive issue.
- No matter how popular antibiotics get, they will never get viral.
- All mushrooms are edible. Some are only edible once.
- Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear brighter until you hear them speak.
- Can you keep a secret? My labs are sealed.
- How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
- Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled to 40 different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
- Why can’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.
- How can you know a tree is a dogwood tree? By its bark.
- What do you call an accountant for the biology department? A buy-ologist.
- What do you call it when a marine biologist takes a photo of himself? A cell-fie.
- What did the science book say to the math book? You have got problems.
- Why was bee’s hair sticky? Because it used a honey-comb.
- What was the name of the first Electricity Detective? Sherlock Ohms.
- What sound does a sub-atomic duck make? Quark.
- What do you call acid that’s a bully? A-mean-ol’ acid.
- How do you throw a party in outer space? You planet.
- What do phlebotomists say before they take your blood? B Positive.
- Why is the pacific ocean so salty? Because land never waves back at it.
- Why did oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon wear suits and ties? They were a formyl group.
- How does a chemist explain having a temper tantrum? Sorry, I just reached my boiling point.
- How do geologists ask each other out? Are you a carbon sample? Because I’d love to date you.
- What does a physicist say when meditating? Ohm, ohm, ohm.
- What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming Trunks.
- What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into the other? Sorry, my fault.
- What are the primary elements of a sense of humor? Sulfur, Argon, Calcium, and Samarium. Otherwise known as SArCaSm.
- If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, what would that make them? Alloys.
- Why did no one buy the arborist’s book? It was a hard cell.
- Did you hear me? Acid I don’t understand the bases.
- What did the microbiology student get for being late to class? A tardigrade.
- Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great but there is no atmosphere.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A FSH.
- How do you know if an egg is rotten? If it rolls all over the floor and throws a tantrum.
- Why don’t plants buy candy? They make their own sugar.
- She says it doesn’t matter if I go to the party, so I guess it’s just antimatter.
- Meteorology jokes aren’t funny because they are so predictable.
- Simple machines always get dessert, they know how to say pulleys
- It’s hard to date a carb when they are so complex.
- It’s hard for trees to date ivy when they are so clingy.
- Why is it so hard to wake up in the morning? That’s because of Newton’s First Law – A body at rest wants to stay at rest.
- What do scientists get for bad breath? Experi-mints.
- Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg.
- Did you hear about the two red blood cells that fell in love? It was all in-vein.
- Why don’t geologists like scary movies? Because they’re petrified.
- What did the proton say to the electron to start a fight? I’m sick of your negativity.
- What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister.
- What is the least interesting element? Bohrium.
- I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
- I took a picture of elementary particle. It was a once in a lifetime photon opportunity.
- Our chemistry teacher tried to tell a joke but got no reaction.
- The yeast kept bullying the dough. It got a rise out of him.
- Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” and he died.
- How much room do fungi need to grow? As mushroom as possible.
- What did the 30-degree angle say to the 90-degree angle? You think you’re always right.
- Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts!s
- Why do bovine veterinarians like to travel? They’re very cultured.
- How to cut a sea into half? With a see saw.
- What did one decimal say to the number? Did you get my point?
- Did you hear about the neutron who got arrested? He got released without charge.
- What did the teacher say to the noisy volcano? Stop being so eruptive.
- What did the Earth say to the hikers? If you step on a crack, that’s just my fault line.
- Why did the chemist hang up periodic table posters everywhere? It made him feel like he was in his element.
- What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder.
- How many general-relativity theorists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space.
- Why did the cloud date the fog? Because she was so down to Earth.
- Why did the woman break up with the zoologist? He was too cell-fish.
- Why didn’t we have a bad cold season last year? All the viruses flu away.
- If you plug your succulents into the wall, you get a power plant.
- An aeronaut’s head is often in the clouds.
- Transformers hum to music because they don’t know the words.
- A wasp, a bee, a hedgehog, and a mosquito all stab a fruitcake. It was a very sticky situation.
- Photons have mass? Who knew they were Catholic?
- What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade? Bio-degraded.
- Why do researchers look forward to casual Fridays? They can wear genes to work.
- Where does criminal light end up? In prism.
- What did the helpless T cell say when facing the infection? Is there antibody out there?
- What did the biologist wear to impress his date? Designer genes.
- What did the stamen say to the pistil? I like your style.
- What did the receiver say to the radio wave? Ouch! That megahertz.
- Why do plants hate algebra? It gives them square roots.
- Why are chemists excellent for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
- What kind of tree can be placed into your hand? A palm tree.