Funniest Croissant Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of croissant puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Croissant puns and jokes

1. Why don’t croissants like warm weather? Things get toasty.
2. What did the butter say to the croissant? Let’s bake the world a butter place.
3. What does making too many croissant puns lead to? Self-loaving.
4. What is the opposite of a croissant? A happy uncle.
5. Why are croissant jokes always funny? Because they never get mold.
6. What’s a croissant’s favourite song lyric? Another one bites the crust.
7. What did the croissant chef say? Can you double choc the recipe?
8. What did the croissant say while in the hospital? Au pain.
9. How does croissants remember things? It uses Toast-It notes.
10. What did the croissant say to the pretzel? You’re such a weird-dough.
11. Why was the croissant never cold? He had many layers.
12. Who is married to my mean uncle? My croissant.
13. What life advice did the croissant provide? Life can be a little flakey.
14. Why did the croissant and bread fall in love? Love is all you knead.
15. What did the chef say when the croissant went missing? It’s scone now.
16. What did the croissant say to its chef? Butter me up.
17. What did the croissant say to the bread as a goodbye? Have a loafly day.
18. I understand why bakers are addicted to baking croissants. Sometimes they just knead it.
19. I asked the French baker what he makes. He said Croissants are my bread and butter.
20. The French couple decided to exchange croissants as anniversary gifts. They were a dough-rable.
21. A slice of croissant will give you the ability to have fun. Why? Because they’re the slice of the party.
22. Why did no one invite the croissant anymore? He always flaked on plans.
23. What did the croissant say to the other croissant? Everything I dough, I dough it for you.
24. What did mama croissant say to her children? It’s way past your bread time.
25. What did the croissant say to his girlfriend? I loaf you.
26. What did the croissant give to his girlfriend? Flours.
27. What did the tiered cake say to a tray of croissants that fell? Get batter soon.
28. Some things in life are more or less similar to baking croissants so what can we do? Just roll with them.
29. A croissant and a baguette are having a race. What’s the best way to start the race? Ready, bready, go.
30. What did the croissant say to the chicken? Lets get bready to crumble.
31. What did the customer say when they look at the croissant? What a breadtaking sight
32. What did the croissant say to the fighting bakers? Don’t fold a grudge.
33. Why was the croissant sad at the baking competition? She had been a laminated.
34. The croissant felt the rolls were not perfect. From head to dough, everything has gone wrong.
35. The baker lied about the croissant recipe to his team. Truth be fold one day.
36. The croissant chef is struggling to make the batch of croissants. You know what they say, no pain, no grain.
37. You know what they say, croissant is like the sun, it rises in the yeast.
38. Hope you enjoy this croissant, it’s the yeast I could do.
39. What did the chef say to the student when he first baked a croissant? Bake a leg.
40. What did the croissant say to the other pastries as it’s being sold off? I will never desert you.
41. What did the croissant tell the chef who is upselling to another customer? Don’t sugarcoat it.
42. How did the chef wish the croissant happy birthday? Hope you have a berry happy birthday.
43. Why did the croissant think the doughnut is depressed? It has a hole inside.
44. Why was the croissant depressed? He suffered a mental bake-down.
45. Why did the croissant go to the doctor? He was feeling crummy.
46. What do you call a depressed pair of croissants? Pain au pain.
47. Two Croissants walking across Union Street, One gets hit by a bus. The other one says, “Oh Crumbs.”
48. Croissants and butter are a great pair because they make a great cream.
49. The croissant batter was not well received by the head chef. It left a flour taste in his mouth.
50. The croissant felt sad and went to bread for advice. Be like bread and rise to the challenge.
51. The croissant felt uncomfortable being displayed out the window of the shop. He gives him the crepes.
52. What do you get when you drop the croissant your aunt made? A cross aunt
53. Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland? They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
54. What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?  C’est croissant.
55. I went to the zoo and saw a croissant in a cage. It was bread in captivity.
56. What happens if you mix a croissant and a sourdough. A cross-bread.
57. Never make doctors appointments with a croissant…  They’ll always flake out on you
58. You can never trust a Croissant to get things done. They’re super flakey.
59. A danish, a cornbread piece, and a croissant plays Dungeons and Dragons. I guess you can say they are roll playing
60. What did the croissant say to the coffee in the morning? You’re just not my cup of tea.
61. When baking, how do you tell when the croissant is done? It flakes.
62. What did a croissant say after brushing his teeth? I’m bready for bed.
63. Why was the almond croissant one of the top selections in the store? It was a batch made in heaven.
64. Why did the two croissants run away from the bakery? They wanted to grow mould together.
65. What did the croissant say to the coffee in the morning? You’re just not my cup of tea.
66. What did the croissant say when they played hide and seek? Whenever you’re bready.
67. Why can’t croissant dough hold a steady job? Because it’s always getting baked.
68. What did the croissant say to the slice of bread before the race? You’re toast.
69. What did the croissant say when breaking up with his girlfriend? You deserve butter.
70. What do you call it when two croissants made at the same time fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
71. I just put my hair in a bun. It wasn’t very nice, I think I’ll try it with a croissant next time.
72. For breakfast, I had a croissant at this stand in Germany. I looked at the attendant, held up my croissant and said, Gluten Morgen.
73. Paris, I hope our paths will croissant again.
74. Two croissants in an oven, one says, “It’s hot in here”. The other says, “Wow, a talking croissant.
75. American websites use cookies to track you. French websites use croissants.
76. Why did the croissants hang out on a street corner? They were just loafing around.
77. What happens if a croissant forgets its umbrella? It’ll get soaking wheat all over.
78. Why do croissants throw great parties? Because they always they rise to the occasion.
79. Why were the almond croissants almost sold out? Everyone went nuts for them.