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Funniest Corn Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of corn puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Corn puns and jokes

  1. What do you call a single kernel on a corn cob? A unicorn.
  2. Who is the master of corn religion? The pope corn.
  3. What is popcorn’s zodiac sign? Capri-corn.
  4. Why does popcorn have such great visual power? Because they have corn-ea.
  5. How do programmers like their candy corn? Byte-sized.
  6. Why could the corn not go to school? Because he was in the can.
  7. Just plain popcorn? I think you can do butter than that.
  8. Do you know where baby corn comes from? The stalk brings them.
  9. Why were all the corn stalks afraid of Jimmy? Because Jimmy cracks corn and he don’t care.
  10. What do kernels do in their free time? Hip pop dance.
  11. What do you call buying a huge amount of corn at once? Stalk investment.
  12. How is an ear of corn like an army?  Both have lots of kernels.
  13. Why would a miser tape a bunch of kernels to his ceiling? Because he could not afford fire alarms.
  14. What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming? That’s music to my ears.
  15. Did you know there’s an app for corn growers? It’s made in Sili-corn Valley.
  16. Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes? Because they were too corny
  17. How did the tomato court the corn? He whispered sweet nothings into her ear.
  18. What do you tell a vegetable after it graduates from college? Corn-gratulations
  19. What happened when I accidentally stepped on a kernel? I became a cereal killer.
  20. What sort of land and water proficient lives in a corn field? A corned amphibian.
  21. What has many ears but cannot hear? A field of corn.
  22. What was the name of the vegetable police squad that rode motorcycles? Corn CHiPs.
  23. What do farmers do on Christmas eve? Hang the corn stalkings over the fireplace.
  24. Who is popcorn’s distant relative? Poppies.
  25. What did the ear of corn say when its crush complimented it? Aww, shucks.
  26. Why shouldn’t you tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
  27. What’s the highest position an ear of corn can get in the military? Kernel
  28. Did you hear about the piece of corn that got in trouble? It got quite the earful.
  29. What kind of amphibian lives in a corn field? A corned toad.
  30. Why is corn such a good listener? Because it’s all ears.
  31. Why doesn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes? Because they’re always too corny.
  32. Should you eat corn that has fallen off the stalk? Maize well.
  33. Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn? He was part husky.
  34. What do you call the state fair in Iowa? A corn-ival.
  35. What does corn use as money? Corn bread.
  36. What is a corn’s favorite type of flower? Corn-flower. 
  37. Why was the corn beaten up by the neighbors? Because he was stalking.
  38. What did the kernel’s friend ask the kernel? What’s popping?
  39. What’s the subtle difference between popcorn and pea soup? Well, you are able to pop corn but can’t really pee soup.
  40. I have ears, but I am unable to hear. Who am I?  I am a field of corn.
  41. Should you eat corn that has fallen off the stalk? Maize well.
  42. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
  43. What did one ear of corn say to the other ear of corn? Don’t look now but I think someone is stalking us.
  44. What kind of corn can you eat but never grows? Candy corn.
  45. Why was the corn put in jail? It was a corn stalker.
  46. What do kernels do to lose weight? They become popcorn.
  47. Why did one of the five kernels not pop? He was wearing sunscreen.
  48.  What did the kernel say to his girlfriend after movies? I hope you are having a grain time.
  49. Why did everyone believe the corn’s story? Because there was a kernel of truth to it.
  50. What kind of pizza toppings do corn get? Popperoni.
  51. How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer!
  52. Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes. They were the laughing stalk of the field.
  53. A pair of cornstalks who are best friends are called earbuds.
  54. If you caught a criminal in a field of corn, does this means that they have been cornered?
  55. I got lost in a corn field. It was quite a maize.
  56. Why are so many farmers conservative? Because they vote republicorn.
  57. After an eating competition, what would the corn say? It is utter corn-age.
  58. What do you call a dance being held in a cornfield? A corn ball.
  59. What is a corn’s favorite type of pet? A corn-dog.
  60. When a corncob is run over by a car, we have creamed corn.
  61. Why do balloons hate kernels? Because they might pop.
  62. Why did the kernel turn into a popcorn one fine day? Because it was a hot day.
  63. What kind of corn do dogs like? Pupcorn
  64. Some corn, a carrot, and cucumber all fell into the ocean. Now they are all C foods.
  65. I don’t really like corn jokes. I find them a bit too difficult to digest.
  66. The baby corn wanted a pet, so his mama decided to buy the baby a corn dog.
  67. Learning a new language requires a lot of corn-centration.
  68. You should not take corn on a plane because they will make your ears pop.
  69. What should you use to make spicy popcorn? Poprika.
  70. What customs do popcorn society follow? Pop culture.
  71. What would a gymnast popcorn be famous for? Probably for its sommer-salt.
  72. What were the charges against the popcorn in court? A-salt.
  73. What did the corn mom say to her kid when he wasn’t listening? Come ear, right now.
  74. Why could the kernel not pop? She was cornfused.
  75. What did a kernel say to another kernel to express his love? You pop me up like no other.
  76. Who is popcorn’s favorite character? Mary Poppins.
  77. For what crime do popcorns never get charged? Being engaged in buttery.
  78. What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field? They got creamed.
  79. Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch. The plot thickens.
  80. What is a spider’s favorite food? Corn on the cob-web.
  81. What the corniest part of a corn field? The corner.
  82. Careful not to step on corn-flakes, you wouldn’t want to become a cereal-killer.  
  83. Don’t eat too much corn, or else you risk getting corn-stipated. 
  84. Watch out for that corn-ivore or else he may eat all your corn.
  85. The corn stalk corn-gratulated the scarecrow for being the longest man standing.
  86. The corn stalk decided to change careers. He went into a completely different field.
  87. What is a mythical veggie called? It is a unicorn.
  88. What is corn oil use for? Corn cars.
  89. Did you hear about that corn stalk that changed careers?  He went into a different field.
  90. Why aren’t corn eyeball jokes any good?  Because they are plain cornea. 
  91. Learning a new language requires a lot of corn-centration
  92. Corn farmers are not good comedians because their jokes are always corny.
  93. The corn farmer doesn’t like to make plans – he prefers to play everything by ear.
  94. I failed to bring a map to the corn maize so I decided to play it by ear.
  95. A corn stalk that changes careers is usually one who goes to a different field.
  96. Why did the corn cover its ears with a husk? Because the stalking music was too earie to hear.
  97. What do you call a motel in the middle of a cornfield? A maize Inn.
  98. How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
  99. Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow? To corn-gratulate him for being outstanding in their field.

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