Concrete Jokes and Puns

Here are 30+ funny concrete jokes to cement your status as the life of the party! Find your favorite concrete puns and then share with others.

Concrete puns and jokes

1. How does cement support buildings? The hard way.
2. Did you hear about the guy who wanted to be buried in a concrete slab? He was dead set.
3. How many law enforcement officers does it take to throw a handcuffed person down concrete stairs? None, they fell.
4. Why did the cement mixer go to the doctor? He was feeling a little dry.
5. You are stuck in a cement room with only a table and a chainsaw, how do you get out? You cut the table in half, because two halves make a hole.

36. Why some minds are like concrete? They are thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
37. Did you hear about the truck that spilt concrete across the road? It wasn’t cement to happen.
38. Why couldn’t the concrete travel around? It was too heavy.
39. What do you call the place where concrete is buried? A cementary.
40. Why is her face looks like it hit concrete? Because she is a fallen angel.

6. What was the gorilla in the cement mixer called? King Koncrete.
7. Why was the concrete bad at its job? The shear stress was too much.
8. Why did Picasso get fired from the cement factory? His ideas weren’t concrete enough.
9. What did the cement say to the brick? Hold on tight.
10. What did steel say to the concrete? Don’t take too much tension.

11. What do you call a dirty puddle on a slab of cold concrete in dim, gloomy light? A sunny day in Seattle.
12. Did you read about the girl who injected concrete into her buttocks? Sounds like she hit rock bottom.
13. What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? Dam.
14. Why did you leave your job as a Concrete Worker? It just seemed to get HARDER and HARDER.
15. So you’re a fan of Brutalist architecture? Give me 3 concrete examples.

16. What did the concrete slab say after it was poured? I think I’m set.
17. Why the nun was wearing a concrete dress? It’s a hard habit to break.
18. What happens when a duck is staring at concrete mixing? Ended up with quacks in the building.
19. Do you know, I’m a concrete thinker? Funny, I deal with concrete too, mostly shoes.
20. What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in concrete? Not enough concrete.

1. Did you hear the local concrete plant was flooded last week? They’re having a hard time moving inventory now.
2. How did the concrete race begin? Ready…. set.
3. How can you drop an egg on concrete without cracking it? Which ever the way you want, concrete doesn’t break easily.
4. How do you call a cement foundation? A concrete base.
5. How do you reinforce concrete? Rebar.

Concrete one liners

Here are some great concrete joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about concretes.

1. It annoys me when people misuse the words concrete, asphalt and gravel because it’s all about cementics.
2. To the person who has stolen my 5 tonne concrete boots and my invisibility cloak,you can’t run but you can hide.
3. The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.
4. I fell face-first in fresh concrete the other day, I wasn’t worried though – my mom always said I’d make a good impression.
5. When I die I want to be buried in wet concrete, so that over time the plot thickens.

26. Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody believed me but then I found some concrete evidence.
27. A group of escaped prisoners fell into some concrete as part of their getaway and police are looking for hardened criminals.
28. My friend uses concrete and asphalt interchangeably he says it’s just a matter of cementics.
29. I studied concrete for a while but it’s really hard.
30. I’m never sure of the difference between concrete and paving slabs, it’s a grey area.