Funniest Chair Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of chair puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Chair puns and jokes

1. What is the chair’s favorite person? A sit-izen.
2. How did the man who invented the chair introduce it to investors? You may want to sit down for this.
3. Who cuts down the trees to get the wood that gets made into back-supporting chairs? Lumbar-jacks.
4. What do you say when the police ask you to sit in the chair during an interrogation and your lawyer advises you to deny everything? This ain’t a chair.
5. What genre of music does an electric chair usually like listening to? Death metal.
6. How do you improve the quality of a wooden chair? You pass it through the chair purifier.
7. Why can a person sitting on a chair never win a wrestling battle royal? Because the winner has to be the last man standing.
8. I got one of those high desks for work and threw my chair away. I can’t stand sitting.
9. Why did the nurse get second chair in the symphony? Because they were a Band-Aid.
10. What did the chair say after it finished travelling around the world? I went sofa away.
11. What is a cow’s favorite party game? Moo-sical chairs!
12. Who’s the best at musical chairs? Stephen Hawking. He’s always sitting down.
13. What do you call a chair in a suit? A tux-seat-o
14. Someone took my three-legged chair. I guess it was stoolen
15. Doctor Doctor, I can’t stop stealing chairs. Please take a seat.
16. Michael Jordan announced that he was going to create a new furniture line and is calling it chair Jordan.
17. I was really depressed when my grandfather’s prized vintage rocking chair got destroyed by the earthquake. I had always chair-ished the memories it held.
18. The other day, I saw a moving truck spill an entire load of chairs all over the highway. I guess you could call it a case of loose stools! 
19. What do you say you got when you finally lay your hands on the chair that you wanted to buy for a long time? You say that you got an arm chair.
20. When kind of exercise do you do with a chair? Seat ups.
21. What sitcom show has a chair in its lead role? The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Chair.
22. What do you tell a person at the party who wants to dance? Can I have your chair, please?
23. A man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket. Well, you can hide, but you can’t run!
24. I asked my wife to come chair shopping with me. I told her that I’m just a bad judge of chairacter.
25. If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a hit and can´t run.
26. A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests?” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”
27. I told my chair to put its arms up. I found some cushion its pocket.
28. What did the man say after someone stole his chair? I’m not going to take this sitting down.
29. Why does a milking chair only have three legs? The cow has the udder.
30. When was the very old king of the seats sad? Because there was no chair to the throne.
31. What was the chair’s preferred method of combat? Chair-knuckle boxing.
32. What do you call a chair with a great personality? Chair-is-matic.
33. I’m never sure if I like rocking chairs or not. I go back and forth on them.
34. My office chair broke. It’s letting me down.
35. My chair is missing an arm and a leg. That doesn’t sit well with me.
36. I went to a job center and asked them if they had any furniture removal jobs open. The man smiled at me and said “take a seat”.
37. Today, I tried to return a new recliner I bought. But it had no warranty, so I couldn’t take it back.
38. What happens when a chair and a table helps out those in need? They become charitable.
39. What do you call Elvis Presley when he sings a song while sitting on a chair? You call him Pelvis Restly.
40. A friend of mine ended up failing his chair exam. He’s going to resit.
41. I was at a magic show recently where the magician had an act where he disappeared while sitting on a chair in front of our eyes. Guess, he just vanished into thin chair.
42. One of the legs of this chair is shorter than the others. I’m trying to be okay with it but if I’m being honest it just doesn’t sit well with me.
43. My chair is depressed and broke down to pieces. It just doesn’t give a sit anymore.
44. I have some extra chairs in my garage. for emergency seat-uations.
45. Why can comedians never sit back on a chair while telling jokes to people? Because they do stand-up comedy.
46. Why did my grandfather add wheels to his rocking chair? Because he wanted to rock n’ roll.
47. How do you create a hot dog stand? You take it’s chair away.
48. What do you call a smaller version of a chair? A miniachair.