Beef Jokes and Puns

Here are some beef jokes that will have you laughing till the cows come home. Find your favorite beef puns and then share with others!

Beef jokes and puns

1. Which cooked beef steak can see into your future? A medium
2. Why don’t chicken and sheep get along? Because they have beef between them
3. A cow was standing in a cornfield. A chicken walked by and said “what do I see here? Corn beef
4. What did the chef say when he cooked up moose meat instead of beef? Oh no! I’ve made a huge MooseSteak.
5. Why did the top bun and bottom bun of the Big Mac get in a fight? There was bad beef between them.

1. What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents? Grounded beef.
2. What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast? Here’s the beef of the week.
3. What do you call a cow in the snow? Chilli Beef.
4. What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody’s herd.
5. What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? Lean beef.

6. What is a beef eater’s favorite song lyric? My grill, talking ’bout my grill, my grill.
7. What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everyone can roast beef but nobody can pea soup!
8. What’s a cow’s favorite musical note? Beef-flat
9. What’s the typographer’s favourite sandwich filling? Kerned beef
10. Why is ground beef so popular? Because the flying cows are really hard to catch.

11. What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
12. What did the beef jerky say to the pork jerky? Nice to meat you.
13. Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
14. What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef? Beefthoven.
15. What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer.

1. My brother has a beef eating disorder and I’m worried. His life is at steak.
2. What do rappers and vegans have in common? Fake beef.
3. What did the angry cow say to it’s enemy? We have beef.
4. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
5. What does the ghost like on its roast beef? Grave-y.

Beef one liners

16. Don’t use “beef stew” as a computer password. Its not stroganoff.
17. Did you hear about the burger that couldn’t stop making jokes? It was on a roll.
18. My doctor insists that I should reduce my ground beef consumption. So be it, sea cows it is then.
19. I forgot to ship out my brother’s homemade beef jerky and accidentally ate it instead. It was an honest missed steak.
20. A fast food employee dropped my burger patty on the floor before serving it to me. They said it was ground beef.