Funniest Bear Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of bear puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Bear puns and jokes

1. A man is out in the woods when he comes across a bear. Frightened for his life, he starts praying, “Dear Lord, please make this bear a Christian.” Suddenly, the bear kneels and says, “Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive.”
2. A bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a gin… … … … and tonic.” The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?” The bear shrugs, “I was born with them!”
3. A bear and a bunny were sitting in the forest. The bear turned to the bunny and asked, “Do you have problems with poop sticking to your fur?” The bunny replied, “No.” So the bear wiped his bottom with the bunny.
4. Two campers are hiking in the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. One of the campers starts to put on his running shoes. The other asks, “What are you doing? You can’t outrun a bear!” The first replies, “I don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you!”
5. Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center? It was panda-monium.
6. What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal? Ice Crispies. 
7. How do bears travel when they go on vacation? Bear-o-planes.
8. What is a polar bear’s favorite healthy snack? Iceberg lettuce and snow peas. 
9. Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head? Yoga Bear.
10. Why do polar bears have fur coats? Because they would look weird in ski jackets
11. Why did the teddy bear say no to the ice cream? He was beyond stuffed.
12. What do you call a polar bear in the jungle? Lost.
13. Why did Mother Nature make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
14. What is a bear’s favorite drink? Coca Koala.
15. What do you call bears without ears? B’s.
16. Why did the panda quit his job? He was getting bear minimum wage.
17. What did the panda pack in her suitcase? The bear necessities.
18. What do you call a bear that is cold? A burr.
19. How did the small bear-looking creature get home after his vehicle died? Ewok’d the rest of the way.
20. What do you call a bear who lives in the Arctic and has extreme mood swings? A bi-polar bear.
21. What’s smarter than the average bear? About half of all bears.
22. Why did the two bears break-up? As much as they tried to make it work, they were just polar opposites.
23. What does a baby bear have? A bear bum.
24. What do you all a large group of sick pandas? A panda-emic.
25. What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree? Camembert.
26. Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.
27. How do you refer to a bear specializing in courtroom advocacy and litigation? A Bearrister.
28. What’s a wet bear called? A drizzly bear.
29. What color socks do bears wear? None. They usually have bear feet.
30. What is the difference between brown bears and a polar bears? A few thousand miles.
31. What happened when the teddy bear got punched? He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
32. Did you know Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear rug in his home? The bear is not dead it is just too scared to move.
33. What do you call a bear that says he never wants to grow up? Peter Panda
34. What did the bear say after looking at his GPS? Give me a second to get my bearings.
35. When a grizzly bear got dirt on her fur, what did her best friend say to make her feel better? Don’t worry! I bearly even see it.
36. Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the bear minimum.
37. What kind of car do bears drive? Fur-aris.
38. Why do pandas save money printing photos? Most of their pics are black and white.
39. What do you call a polar bear that has his degree in dentistry? A molar bear.
40. What’s a grizzly bear’s favorite law? The right to bear arms. 
41. What do you get when you cross a bear and a lion? Eaten alive.
42. How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
43. Why do grizzlies never look sad? Because whenever there’s a problem, they grin and bear it.
44. What do you call a teddy bear and a pig? A teddy boar.
45. Do you know you only need two letters to spell panda? You need a P and A.
46. How does a bear stop a movie? It hits the paws button.
47. Where does a polar bear go to vote? The North Pole.
48. Who’s a bear’s favorite poet? William Shakesbeare.
49. Why was the bear a good fit for the job? He had all the right koalifications.
50. Why did the bear go to the flea market? He was on the search for the best beargain.
51. Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mama bear panda’d to its every need.
52. What did the bear say when he fell down the stairs? How embearassing.
53. Why didn’t the baby leave his momma? Because he couldn’t bear it.
54. Why did the koala bear get fired from his job? Because he wasn’t koala-fied.
55. Why do pandas hold strong opinions? They’re black and white creatures.
56. What’s black and white with red spots? A panda with chickenpox.
57. What did the bear say when his friends asked to hang out? Sorry, I need to spend some koalaty time with my family.
58. How does a bear catch a fish without a fishing rod? With his bear hands.
59. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
60. What’s black and white, black and white, black and white? A panda rolling down a hill.
61. Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear? It was a grizzly death.
62. What do you do if you find a bear in your toilet? Let it finish.
63. What do you call a cemetery for bears? Bearial grounds.
64. What did the boy grizzly bear say to the girl grizzly bear on their wedding day? I can’t wait to growl old with you.