Funniest Art Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of art puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Art puns and jokes

1. What time do artists wake up? At the crack of drawn.
2. What happened after the artist was told her painting was horrible? She got the picture.
3. What is a painting done by a cat called? A paw-trait.
4. Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum? Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
5. What did the artist draw before he went to bed? The curtains.
6. How do artists greet each other? Yellow.
7. How can an artist fill in a CV? By drawing from experience.
8. When Michelangelo finally painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, what did he say? I’ve got you covered.
9. How come the artist is in jail? She was framed. 
10. What happened when a red ship collided with a blue ship? Both of their crews were marooned.
11. What do you call someone hanging out by the wall? Art.
12. Why couldn’t the man afford expensive art? He had no Monet.
13. Why was the artist hauled to court? To face the mosaic.
14. When an artist meets his rival, what does he say? I am challenging you for a doodle.
15. What was the artist’s motto when it came to home repairs? When it paint broke, don’t fix it.
16. What should you do if you find art imprisoned? You have to Freda art.
17. Which farm animal was also a famous painter? Vincent van Goat.
18. Did you hear about the artist who died? Too many strokes.
19. Why was the artist a good cowboy? He was quick on the draw
20. What did the blackboard say? I’ve got a chalk full of problems.
21. Why shouldn’t you sculpture for granite? Because that’d be stone-cold.
22. Why could Frank Gore not get into his driveway? Because someone had painted an endzone on it.
23. What does the pirate steal in his free time? Arrrrrt. 
24. Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he didn’t have an ear for music.
25. What sound does a dog that’s really into art make? He doesn’t bark. He bauhaus.
26. Why did the artist decide not to quit running? He was on the home sketch.
27. What is it called when someone mislabels a color? A false ac-hue-sation. 
28. I used to do fine arts, until I decided I didn’t like the arts. Now I’m doing just fine.
29. I failed my art exam using the wrong pencil. Guess it wasn’t 2b.
30. When the two artists had an argument, they decided to call it a draw.
31. I tried to paint a good picture of the sky, but I blue it. 
32. Don’t worry, it’s just the lion’s pen. 
33. Why did the investor buy art? For art appreciation.
34. Where does a cow hang his paintings? In a moooseum.
35. What did the potter say when he destroyed his piece of art? That’s just the clay it is.
36. What did the art teacher say to her student? You are one art cookie.
37. What did the artist feel like when he first visited the Louvre museum? It was Louvre at first sight.
38. Where do vampires go to buy their art supplies? Pencilvania. 
39. What do you get if you cross a painter with a boxer? Muhammad Dali.
40. I was going to joke about my broken pencil. But it was pointless.
41. Don’t be so mad! Easel up. 
42. The art show is coming up and I’m etching to go.
43. An average art teacher was good only at drawing blank faces.
44. I just canvas the area before I go anywhere to stay safe
45. What did the bully use when he experimented with the dark arts? A Wedgie Board.
46. What did the frustrated painter say to his wall? I’ll plaster you if you crack anymore.
47. Why was the artist arrested for painting in the police station? Because he had an unfortunate brush with the law.
48. What is Salvador Dali’s favorite thing to eat for breakfast? A bowl of surreal.
49. Which famous painting is always sad? The Moaning Lisa.