Top 20 Apple Jokes

I am pretty sure I have eaten over like a thousand apples in my lifetime and I am probaby going eat a thousand more. A good fresh crisp apple that has been sliced up is such a good snack. Anyway, here are our top 20 apple jokes that we have painstakingly curated across the web, books, and our own brains.

Let us know in the the comments if you have a better joke that you think should be in this list. Now, onto our top 20!

Last Updated: 09/13/2024

Top 20

1. What do you call two apples next to each other? A pear.
2. What can a whole apple do that a half an apple can’t? Look round.
3. What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A pine apple.
4. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
5. What kind of apples do they eat in the desert? Camel apples.
6. Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory? Because they have such a high turnover rate.
7. What do you get when you cross a train engine with an apple pie? Puff pastry.
8. What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr. and Mr. Smith.
9. What do you call a grumpy apple? A crab apple.
10. If a man has got 6 apples in one hand and 8 bananas in the other, what has he got? Massive hands.
11. How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
12. What has apples and 3.14 slices? An apple Pi.
13. What do you call a doctor who specializes in Adam’s apples? A guyneckologist.
14. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
15. Who led all the apples to the bakery? The Pie Piper.
16. Why couldn’t Eve eat the apple? Because it was Adam’s apple.
17. What’s an Egyptian apple pie? The kind mummy used to make.
18. What do you get when you drop a smartphone into a deep fryer? An Apple fritter.
19. How do you make apple turnover? Push it downhill.
20. Who is an apple’s favorite relative? A Granny.