Funniest Candle Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of candle puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Candle puns and jokes

1. What is the best place to learn about candles? Wickipedia.
2. What kind of sale did the candle store have? A blowout sale.
3. What would you do if your room smelled bad? You’d just light a candle, because It just makes scents.
4. Why were the candle’s grades so poor? He isn’t very bright.
5. What did the candle say to its friend? I’m going out tonight.
6. What’s it called when one Candle eats another Candle? Candlebalism
7. How do angels light a candle? With a match made in heaven.
8. How do you know when you’re getting old? It’s when candles cost you more than the cake.
9. What would you call a fraud who works in a Candle factory? A Scandle.
10. Why was the weak candle flickering all through the night? It was going through a sick burn.
11. Where does the candle family like to visit the most? The Wax Museum.
12. What game is a candle best at? Wax-a-mole.
13. Candles were used for the first time on a birthday cake by the people who just wanted to make light of their age.
14. Four men were on a boat and had five candles. But they had nothing with them to light the candles. So they threw a candle overboard and then the whole boat became a candle lighter
15. The candle became sad because his friends blew him off.
16. Just Googled “how to light a candle” Got 50 million matches.
17. I got fired from the candle factory told them I didn’t want to work wick ends.
18. What would you do if someone told you that they’d burn your present if you gave them anything stupid? I’d just buy them a candle.
19. Why did the boy take candles to the toilet? It’s because he wanted the birthday potty.
20. Bought my colleague a candle extinguisher. Getting the gift, he was de-lighted.
21. The candle became sad because his friends blew him off.
22. The candle skipped eating at night. It just had a little snack. Well, that’s what’s called a light dinner.
23. My local football team loses more matches than when I try to light my candle.
24. The candles companies in our area got insurances from one bank. They called it waxident insurance.
25. Why does the candle always get an F in math? It’s because it’s a little light-headed.
26. Why did the boy take candles to the toilet? It’s because he wanted the birthday potty.
27. What would you get if you put a candle inside a suit of armor? I’d get a knight-light.
28. What did the one candle state to the match? You light up my world.
29. This Halloween, Gucci sold out all of their $500 scented candles. Some people seem to have so many dollars but not enough scents.
30. I was at a party where everyone was thinking of a game to play. Someone came up with an idea and said, “this is a candle. If you keep the candle lit, then you win. So don’t blow it”.
31. Four men were on a boat and had five candles. But they had nothing with them to light the candles. So they threw a candle overboard and then the whole boat became a candle lighter.
32. There’s a way of lighting candles even when you don’t have matches. You just have to cut a bit off of the candle, so that it becomes a little lighter.
33. There was a big fire in the aroma therapy candle factory. But things are a lot calmer now.
34. What do you do when you go to the store to buy candle holders but they don’t have any? You just buy a cake.
35. Why did the candles quit their job? They were all too burnt out.
36. What parts of fishes are used in making candles? Paraffins.
37. Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.
38. I had a box of candles delivered to me at home yesterday. I candled them with care.
39. I bought my sister some candles for her room. It looked pretty lit in the dark.
40. There was an assassin that only used candles as his weapon. His name was John Wick.
41. I borrowed my friends candle without asking him first, he was incensed.
42. Why do we have a tradition of blowing out the candles on birthday cakes? It’s so that we don’t burn our mouth when we eat it.
43. Did you know you could light candles with pieces of dry spaghetti? Well, that’s using your noodle.
44. What happened when Joseph Swan came up with the idea of a light bulb? I guess a candle appeared above his head.
45. What would you do if you wanted more candles on your birthday cake but the store was out of them? I’d just say, “there’s always next year.
46. What would you get if you put a candle inside a suit of armor? I’d get a knight-light.
47. I met a guy who said he was from Candleville. I told him “that makes you a candle-lite, right?”
48. My sister used a lot of small candles for her party as decorations. Her place looks tealight-ful.
49. My dad was teaching me how to fix the car but I was just holding the flashlight the entire time. I guess I’ll never be able to hold a candle to him.
50. I wanted to start a candle making company. But my family didn’t think it would be a good idea. I kept assuring them that it makes scents.
51. I bought a gold-scented candle and burned it. It had a very rich aroma.
52. How did the candles give such fantastic answers? They were all enlightened.
53. What would you call a candle that always has a savage reply? Wicked.
54. What would the candle say if he reached work late? He’d say, “better light than never”
55. How long does it take for a candle to burn out? It takes a wick minute.