Top 20 Pirate Jokes

Why do pirates make terrible singers? Because they can’t hit the high seas. Ok Ok, lame dad joke alert!

We have sourced 100s of pirate jokes from the web, books and made up some of our own. We reviewed each for quality and rest assured our top 20 are the best human made jokes. Now onto the list!

Last Updated: 09/13/2024

Top 20

1. What has 6 legs and 6 eyes? 6 pirates.
2. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrr.
3. How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg.
4. What’s a pirate ghost’s favorite kind of tea? Boo-tea.
5. What does pirate Santa say? Yo ho ho.
6. What did the pirate say when he left his wooden leg in the freezer? Shiver me timbers.
7. What do you call an angry sailor? P-irate.
8. I had to talk to the pirate yesterday. We made aye to aye contact.
9. Three pirates walk into a cinema. Sorry, we don’t allow pirating here.
10. 3.14% of sailors are Pi Rates.
11. What do you call a pirate with three eyes? Piiirate.
12. What’s a pirates favorite fish dish? Pieces of skate.
13. Why are maths teachers secretly pirates? Because they’re always trying to find X.
14. Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate? Because he was standing on the deck.
15. What is it called when a pirate sets his own ship on fire? Argh-son.
16. What drink do pirate’s prefer even more than rum? Port.
17. What do you call a pirate with no arms and no legs? An expert pirate.
18. Where do the pirate children go to learn? Skull.
19. How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
20. What was the pirate boxer’s biggest strength? His left hook.

If you’ve got your own jokes to share, pop in the comment section!