Funniest Snail Jokes – No AI!

Here is my curated list of the funniest snail puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Snail puns and jokes

1. Why did the snail cross the road? It is not clear yet, let it cross the road first.
2. My pet snail lost his shell. He’s looking a bit sluggish.
3. Why are snail shells so shiny? Because they use snail varnish.
4. Did you hear about the snail who robbed a clock shop? She took a lot of time.
5. What did the sea snail say to the other sea snail when be cracked his shell? Sea-kelp! Sea-kelp!
6. What is a snail’s preferred political and economic system? Soshellism.
7. Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail? It’s pretty much a downward spiral.
8. What did the sloth say when he was mugged by a bunch of snails? It all happened so fast.
9. What’s the difference between a snail’s eye and a slug’s eye? Nothing. They are eye-tentacle.
10. What was the snail doing on the motorway? About a mile a week.
11. Why are snail races so short? Because they can only move one foot.
12. When do you know a snail is lying? When she tells you she’s not at home.
13. What would a snail want with a smartphone? It takes a lot of shellfies.
14. What did the snail say when his friend lost his car? Where did Es-car-go.
15. Are slugs just snails that have gone through a divorce? Yes, she got the house.
16. What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you.
17. I hosted a party for snails that don’t have shells. It was a slugfest.
18. Why don’t McDonald’s sell snails? Because they are not fast food.
19. Why was the snail so fun? He loved having a good slime.
20. What do you call a snail in a shotgun shell? A slug.
21. How do snails breathe under water? Snailkels.
22. What did the snail say as she slipped down the wall? How slime flies.
23. Why did the snail get rid of his shell? He was sick of hearing the sea wherever he went.
24. What do snails do on their birthday? They shellabrate.
25. Where can you find giant snails? At the end of a giants fingers.
26. What did the snail say when it was riding on the back of a turtle? Wheeeeee.
27. What sound does a snail make? Crunch.
28. What is the slowest ship? A snail boat.
29. What did the snail’s parents call him when he dropped out of school? A snailure.
30. What do you do when you see 2 snails fighting? Let them slug it out.
31. Why are snails the strongest animal in the world? Because they carry their whole house on their back.
32. What relationship advice did the snail give to it’s friend? Take it slow.
33. What kind of helmet does a snail wear? A shell-met.
34. Two snails were playing chess but neither could win. It was a snailmate.
35. Why did the shy snail drink? To come out of his shell.
36. What do you call it when you have two snails getting towed behind a boat with parachute on? Pair-a-snailing.
37. How do snails keep in touch? They use shell phones.
38. Why was the snail so shy? She was a real homebody.
39. What did the slug say to the snail? I don’t suppose you’re selling your house?
40. What did a snail say to another snail when he wanted to leave the party? We should slowly get going.
41. How does a snail answer the phone? Shello?
42. What do you call a snail in the Navy? A snailor.
43. What do you call it when you throw sodium chloride at a snail? An a-salt.
44. What’s a snail’s favorite fruit? Lemons and slimes.
45. What did the snail tell the slug? I love Michelle.
46. How do slugs send post? By snail mail.
47. What was wrong with the snail? If felt a bit sluggish.
48. I’m currently studying snails and slugs. It’s safe to say I’m a slow learner.