Funniest Flower Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of flower puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Flower puns and jokes

1. Why did the rose stop dating the sunflower? She only saw him as a frond.
2. What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster? Floret.
3. Why didn’t the flower get a second date? He was a garden variety.
4. How do two flowers greet each other? Hey bud, how’s it growing?
5. What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help? Lilac the ability to stop.
6. What did the flower write in his mother’s day card? I’m proud to be orchid.
7. How do you impress a baker when you’re taking his daughter on a date? Bring her flours.
8. I heard you were in a thorny situation, but I’m sure you’ll come out of it smelling like a rose.
9. Roses are so friendly because they always thank you a bunch.
10. What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower? You had me at hydrangea.
11. What is a frog’s favorite flower?  Croak-us.
12. What is Spring’s favorite kind of pickles? Daffo-dills.
13. What kind of flower grows on your face? Tulips.
14. What kind of flowers do you take to a Smooch concert? Tulips.
15. How do you know you’re in love with a flower? Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
16. What is the best flower for a son? Sunflower.
17. How much does a rose love its family? A bunch.
18. Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband? She told him once and floral.
19. What is the favorite Journey song of the flowers? Don’t stop be-leafing.
20. How much does any flower love all of its friends? They love them bunches.
21. What did the flower do when he gets caught in his lie? Backpetals.
22. What do the flowers call their grandfathers? Poppy.
23. What does the youngest flower child say? Last bud not least.
24. Why do flowers always drive so fast? They put the petal to the metal.
25. What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle? They rose.
26. What do you call an inn opened by a flower and a chef? A bud and breakfast.
27. Why did the gardener plant light bulbs? He wanted to have a power plant.
28. What do all the flowers say as motivation every morning? Thistle be a beautiful day.
29. What did the flower say to his wife? Every daisy is better with you.
30. What was written on the Mother’s Day card that the little flower gave to her mother on a special occasion? I’m lucky to be y-orchid.
31. What happened when the flower got called up to fix the mess his colleagues made at work? He rose to the occasion.
32. What did the fan wildflower said to the famous actor flower? I’m wild about you.
33. What did the music teacher say to the new flower student in her class? Don’t sing out of Petunia.
34. What would you do if you couldn’t decide whether to plant some flowers or pave a part of your garden? I would try to sort it once and floral.
35. What do florists hang on their doors for people to ring when they come to visit? Bellflowers.
36. What is the favorite band of the flower? It’s Guns n’ Roses.
37. How do two flowers greet each other? Hey bud, how’s it growing?
38. What do you call a French baker’s favourite flower? Croissanthemum.
39. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog and a rose? A collie-flower
40. What did the bank-robbing flower say to its getaway driver? Floret.
41. What’s Miley Cyrus’ alter ego in the flower world? Hannah Lantana.
42. What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job? Take it or leaf it.
43. What is a bee’s favorite type of flower? A Bee-gonia.
44. What did the bee tell the flower? Hello noney.
45. What do Australians use for their sunburn? Aloe, mate.
46. What do you call a half price bunch of daffodils? A daffodeal!
47. What do you say to a pensive flower? A peony for your thoughts?
48. What did the girl cactus say to the boy cactus?  I am so glad we pricked each other.
49. What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance? I’ll grow on you.
50. Why are flowers so lazy? Because they’re always in a bed.
51. What did the flower say after he told a joke? I was just pollen your leg.
52. What did the one flower at the school say to the new flower kid that just got transferred? You seem cool. I lilac you.
53. Have you heard about the fear of roses Brian has? He says it’s a thorny issue, and he’s not sure about where it stems from.
54. Have you heard about the flower that recently joined a dating app? I think he is just looking for some-bud-y to love.
55. What’s the fiercest type of flower? A dandelion.
56. How does a flower whistle? By using its tulips.
57. My vase of flowers died, but then they came back to life. It must have been reincarnation.
58. For Valentine’s Day I received a bunch of flowers with the heads cut off. I think I was being stalked.
59. My wife complains that I never buy her flowers. I didn’t even know she sold them.
60. Where do flowers go when they need to recharge after a long day? The power plant.
61. How do you know flowers are capable of kissing? They have tulips.
62. What do flowers study in college? Stem.
63. Why is the letter A like a flower?  Because a “B” comes after it.
64. I wasn’t all that interested in flowers, but I planted a few seeds, and they grew on me.
65. What does a flower therapist ask her patients? Are you feeling bouquet?
66. What did the flower lawyer say when it lost the case? It said, “Every dogwood has its day.
67. What did the one flower say when she wanted a second chance? Trust me, I’ll grow on you.
68. Where do roses sleep at night? In their flowerbed.
69. What was the most common line said by Jerry Maguire the flower? You had me at heliconia.
70. Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower? It’s a budding romance.
71. Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together? He just needed a kick in the bud.
72. What do cartographers give their sweethearts on Valentine’s Day? Compass rose.
73. What do you get if you cross a bike and a flower? Bicycle petals.
74. Which flower talks the most? Tulips, because they have two lips.