Hilarious Duck Jokes – One Liners, Puns + Free Printable!

Looking to ruffle a few feathers with laughter? These duck jokes are perfect for anyone who can’t resist a good quack-up.

I’ve listed all my favorites and I’ve added a free printable for you too. These are great to add into lunchboxes, kids party bags or whatever other reason you can think of!

My Top 10

1. Why do spiders like ducks? They like their webbed feet.
2. What point of a view does a duck write a book in? Bird person.
3. Why does a duck have feathers? To cover up its buttquack.
4. What news did the duck get from the doctor? He had a perfect bill of health
5. Where do ducks go to search for jokes? The world wide webbed feet.
6. How do ducks propose? With a wedding wing.
7. What do you call a kind and successful duck? A waddle citizen.
8. What did the cow and duck name their new rock band? Cheese and quackers.
9. Why did the duck need his window fixed? There was a quack in it.
10. What do you call a duck that’s biting someone? Peking Duck.

Duck One-Liners

If Donald throws a ball at you, you should Duck.

It’s really easy to surprise a duck, they’re often caught flat footed.

Ducks are the best tour guides. They’ve always got a bird’s eye view.

A scientist wanted the day to go faster, so he tied a clock to a duck. Time flew for a moment.

A duck walks into the pharmacy to purchase chapstick. And asks the cashier to put it on his bill.

Ducks watch the news each day to find out the feather forecast.

Ducks are terrible cooks. Everything they make is fowl.

A duck saved all its money in a bowl made of sticks. It had a nest egg.

The ducks weren’t happy when the council banned feeding them. There were a lot of angry birds.

A duck and a tropical bird were playing on the computer. The duck lost. Toucan play that game.

Q&A Duck Jokes

1. Did you hear about the duck that swam into sewage? He smelled fowl.
2. Did the duck couple make plans for their night out? No, they decided to wing it.
3. What do you call a duck that breaks into people’s houses? A robber duck.
4. What do you call movies that ducks like to watch? Duck-umentaries.
5. What do you get if you mix ducks with fireworks? Firequackers.
6. What’s a duck’s favorite fantasy movie? Lord of the Wings.
7. What do you call a clever duck? A wise quacker.
8. Most ducks live in what state? Duckota.
9. Why did the duck get a second job? He had too many bills.
10. Why don’t ducks need smartphones? The web is already on their feet.
11. What do you call the evil ruler of a small pond? A ducktator.
12. What did the lawyer say to the duck in court? “I demand an egg-splanation!”
13. What do you get if you cross a duck and Santa Claus? A Christmas quacker.
14. Why do ducks like campfires? They love seeing them quackle at night.
15. What did the detective say to his partner? Let’s quack this case.
16. What do you call a ghost duck? A poultrygeist.
17. Where do ducks live? Bill-dings.
18. What has fangs and webbed feet? Count Duckula.
19. What’s a duck do when he hears a joke he likes? He quacks up.
20. What should a duck wear to a fancy event? A duck-sedo.
21. What do ducks carry their school books in? Quack-packs.
22. Where do tough ducks come from? Hard-boiled eggs.
23. Why did the duckling almost fall on the sidewalk? She tripped on a quack.
24. What kind of egg does an optimistic duckling hatch from? Sunny side up.
25. What do you call it when a group of mallards is making too much noise? Quackophany.
26. What does a duck say when they disagree with someone? That’s reduckulous.
27. What do you call it when it’s raining chickens and ducks? Fowl weather.
28. What do you call a crate that’s filled with a bunch of ducks? A box of quackers.
29. How do you know if a duck is scared? He’s quacking in his boots.
30. What is a duck’s favorite sea monster? The quacken.
31. What was the secret agent duck named? James Pond.
32. Why did the duck get detention? He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.
33. Why did the duck get a red card in the football game? For fowl play.
34. What game did the duck play at the arcade? Quack-a-mole
35. Why did the duck go to the chiropractor? To get it’s back quacked.
36. What do ducks use to fix things around their house? Duck tape!

Kids Duck Jokes

• Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
• What time do ducks get up? The quack of dawn.
• Where did the duck go when he was sick? To the ducktor.
• Why do ducks fly south for the winter? It’s too far to waddle.
• Why was the duck put into the basketball game? To make a fowl shot.
• What do ducks eat at a baseball game? Quacker-jacks.
• On what side does a duck have the most feathers? The outside.
• What happens if a duck with hiccups lays eggs? It lays scrambled eggs.

Free Printable Jokes

Want these jokes in a cut-out-and-go format? I’ve made a free printable PDF with 10 of the funniest duck jokes. Perfect for cards, lunchboxes, or just leaving one on the mirror. There’s no sign up needed, just click and instantly download 🙂

If you’ve got a better duck joke, send it my way! I’m always collecting the good ones!