Funniest Dragon Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of dragon puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Dragon puns and jokes

1. Why were there spears sticking out of the dragon? It had been lanced-a-lot.
2. What do you call a dragon librarian? A book wyrm.
3. You think birds are scary? Imagine Dragons.
4. What do you call the cow that slayed a dragon? Legendairy.
5. How can you tell a boy dragon from a girl dragon? Fireballs.
6. What do you get when a dragon sneezes? Out of the way.
7. How does Smaug move files from one folder to another? Dragon drop.
8. Why did the dragon love the wizard? He was a-mage-ing.
9. Why was the dragon tired? It was going to knight school.
10. Why was the dragons school built on the clouds? It was a high school.
11. What’s worse than an insult from a leprechaun? A burn from a dragon.
12. What did the dragon eat after going to the dentist? The dentist.
13. Why did the knight befriend the dragon? It was claw-some.
14. What do you call Dragon with no silver? A dron.
15. What is a dragon’s favorite food? Swiss Charred.
16. Why do dragons make good accountants? The economies of scale.
17. Why are dragons the worst story tellers? Because they dragon.
18. What does a dragon have before bedtime? A knight cap.
19. Why didn’t the ice dragon have any friends? It gave people the cold shoulder.
20. How do you know if a dragon is excited? It gets all fired up.
21. What do you get if you cross a dragon with an insect? A dragonfly.
22. Why do dragons live in tall buildings? They like to tower over people.
23. Why are dragons so wrinkled? Well, have you ever tried to iron one?
24. What do you call a Chinese dragon’s beard? Low mane.
25. How do dragons measure earthquakes? They check the Richter-scale.
26. What do dragons sing when cooking? Burn, baby, burn.
27. I want to make a really long, bad lizard joke. But I don’t want to let it dragon.
28. I spotted a lizard on a portable toilet. I suspect it was a commode-o-dragon..
29. A dragon would never explode. But a dino might.
30. Santa hit a dragon whilst flying over medieval England. I guess you could say he sleighed it.
31. A leprechaun, a walking tree, and a dragon walk into a bar. I should quit drinking.
32. Why did the dragon hoard treasure when it was young? They were its golden years.
33. Did you hear about the dragon that stole the king’s crown? It was his crowning achievement.
34. What sport do dragons end up playing when they try to play hockey? Water polo.
35. What day do dragons eat the most on? Happy Chewsday.
36. What do you do with a green dragon? Wait until it ripens.
37. What do you call a dragon who is fantastic at juggling? Talon-ted.
38. Why did the snake think it was a dragon? It made a hiss-take.
39. Why don’t dragons use cutlery? Their tongues are already forked.
40. What meal do dragons order from McDonalds that tries to fight the dragon? A scrappy meal.
41. What do you get if you cross a dragon and a race-car? A drag race.
42. What road do dragons travel on? The fly-way.
43. Why do dragons eat chefs after they’ve been on TV? It’s dinner and a show.
44. What does a dragon call a bus full of people? Meals on wheels.
45. What is a dragon’s favorite band? The Flaming Lips.
46. What did the dragon say to the bad employee? You’re fired.
47. Why did the dragon cross the road? He wanted to eat some chicken.
48. What’s a tired dragon’s favorite steak? Flaming yawn.
49. What do you get when you cross a dragon with a smelly skunk? I have no idea, but please don’t make it angry.
50. Why was the dragon always invited to barbecue Sundays? So he could fire up the grill
51. How did the female dragon win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
52. Why were dragons called rappers during ancient times? Because they used to spit fire.
53. What do you call an angry dragon? An earthquake.
54. Why doesn’t the Ender Dragon understand the book? Because he always starts at the end.
55. Why did the dragon hate to fight knights and swordsmen? He was tired of tinned food.
56. What will eat more than a dragon? Two dragons.
57. What happens if you kiss a dragon? You get burnt lips.
58. What’s the most annoying thing for dragons on their birthday? Blowing out the candles on their birthday cake.
59. Why are dragons so amazing at making music? They really know their scales.
60. How can you tell how much a dragon weighs? Well, they come with scales.
61. What type of stories and folktales are dragons famous for? Long tales.
62. What did the dragon say after receiving a gift for his birthday? Fangs a lot!
63. What sound do you hear when dragons eat spicy salsa? A fire alarm
64. Why did the chef feed the dragon spicy salsa? She needed to barbeque some chicken.
65. What happens if you kiss a dragon? You get burnt lips.
66. How do dragons make holiday plans? They don’t, they just wing it.
67. What do you call a dragon who is fantastic at juggling? Talon-ted.
68. What do the best dancing dragons train to compete in? A talon show.
69. Why do dragons always sleep during the day? They fight knights.
70. Which side of a dragon has the most scales? The outside.
71. Why are dragons so good at rapping? Because they always spit great fire.
72. What sound do you hear when dragons eat spicy salsa? A fire alarm.
73. What has four legs, four wings, and a tail? A dragon with spare parts.
74. What’s big, scaly and bounces? A dragon on a trampoline.
75. What is a dragons favorite TV show? Dragons Den.
76. What is the scariest type of fruit? The dragon fruit.
77. What do you get if you’re bit by an ice dragon? Frost bite.
78. What is a dragons favorite toy? A scale-xtric.
79. Where do dragons go for a manicure and massage? The scale salon.
80. What ritual do dragons perform right before big games? They get fired up.
81. What do dragons say when their eggs hatch? Eggcellent
82. Why did the dragon throw the T-Rex into the air? He wanted to see a dino-soar.
83. What holiday do dragons love? Bon-fire night.
84. Why did the French dragon eat a pony before dinner? It was a horse d’oeuvre.
85. What does a dragon like to eat at a restaurant? Hot wings.
86. What’s the difference between a musical choir of angels and a flight of dragons? The horn section.
87. Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning? Because the early beard gets the worm
88. What happens when a dragon gets bored of strip steaks? Flaming Yawn
89. What’s the difference between a musical choir of angels and a flight of dragons?
90. Why didn’t the dragon observe the Sabbath? He only preys on weak knights.
91. What’s the difference between a car and a dragon? A car only has one horn.
92. Why did the dinosaurs live longer than the dragons? Because they didn’t smoke.
93. What is a dragon’s favorite European food? Swiss Charred.
94. Why are dragons such good storytellers? They tell great tales.
95. Why are dragons so amazing at making music? They really know their scales.
96. Why can’t dragons ever play ice hockey? They always melt the ice before the game is even over.
97. What does a dragon eat for a snack? Firecrackers.