Funniest Crab Puns – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of crab jokes written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Crab jokes and puns

1. How do crabs get around on land? They use the sidewalk.
2. How do you know if a crab is pregnant? Ask a lobstetrician.
3. What’s it called when a crab walks to its part-time job? A side hustle.
4. Why don’t healthy dyslexic people eat bread? Too many crabs.
5. What do you call a crab that throws things? A lobster.
6. Why do crabs do poorly in school? They have a limited vocrabulary.
7. Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym? He pulled a mussel.
8. How do you know when a crab has had too much fizzy drink? It starts to walk in a straight line.
9. How did the crabs respond when the chef told them they were being served for dinner? They were really steamed.
10. What do you call a crab that got sat on? Crushedacean.
11. What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop? Crab-uccino.
12. What did the crab police officer say when it pulled over a speeding shrimp? You have to abide by the claw.
13. Did you hear the crab president’s speech? It was really crabtivating.
14. Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport? The Bus-tacean.
15. Why did the crab get fired? Because he was not moving the company forward.
16. Which chemical element accounts for the largest part in the body of crabs? Crabon.
17. What do crabs need to stay healthy? Vitamin Sea.
18. What did the cannibal crab have for its birthday? Crab cake.
19. What did one fish say to the other when they saw the chef grab a crab? He is in hot water now.
20. How to crabs call their friends? On a shell phone.
21. What party game do crabs like to play? Salmon says.
22. What does a lobster say when he’s confused? Can you please be more pacific?
23. What’s a crab’s favorite part about pizza? That crust taste, son.
24. What is the best job for a crab? A crab driver.
25. Why did the crab get bad grades? Because it was below C level.
26. How much salt do hermit crabs like on their food? Just a pinch.
27. What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty? It-piers we have a problem.
28. How could the crab afford to buy a new house? He prawned everything.
29. Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains? King’s Crustacean.
30. Why was the hermit crab embarrassed? Because the sea weed.
31. What do you call a crab who is afraid of small spaces? Claw-strophobic.
32. Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other tide.
33. Why don’t crabs like basketball? Because they are afraid of the net.
34. What is a crabs favorite fruit? Crab apples.
35. How does the crab answer the phone? Shello.
36. Who brings Christmas presents to young crabs? Santa Claws.
37. hat does a hermit crab call its home? Michelle.
38. How do crustaceans bulk up? They crab load.
39. How does a crab feel when it eats too much? Clawful.
40. What does a crab say when he goes to the rodeo? Yee-Claw.
41. Why are the Jedi against dissolving crustaceans in acid? Only a Sith deals in crab solutes.
42. What do you call a crab who will do anything to survive in the ocean? a shell out.
43. What do you call a crab that’s green and sings but likes to stay home? A Kermit crab.
44. What does the crab president call his trusted advisors? His crabinet.
45. What do you call a crab in self-isolation? A hermit crab.
46. Where do crabs and lobsters save all of their money? In a sea bank.
47. Why was the crustacean unhappy? Because his mum was being really crabby!
48. What do you call the greatest crab artist that ever lived? Leonardo da Pinci.
49. What did the prawn say to the crab steering the ship? Aye aye Crabtain.
50. Why did the musical crab move to New York City? It wanted to star in the crabaret.
51. How do crabs evade taxes? They set up shell corporations.
52. Why did the crab blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
53. Why did the crab keep all of the seaweed to itself? Because it was shellfish.
54. What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear? A shell-met.
55. Why did the crab decide to follow the Keto diet? Crabohydrates made it bloat.
56. What do crabs do on their birthday? They shellabrate.
57. How did the limpet cross the river? She took a taxi crab.
58. What would a crab do with a smartphone? Take lots of shellfies.
59. What do you call a frugal crab? A penny pincher.
60. Where do shellfish go to borrow money? To a prawn broker.