The Cheesiest Cheese Jokes – One Liners, Puns + Free Printable

Feeling bleu? These cheese jokes will turn any gathering into a grate time, whether you’re stuffing a lunchbox, topping a charcuterie board, or slipping a pun into a holiday card.

Stick around and snag the free printable at the bottom, perfect for spreading laughs wherever you slice them!

My Top 10

What cheese is made backwards? Edam.
When can’t you see a cheese? When it’s pasterised.
What did the cheese say to her boyfriend? We look gouda to-feta.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning? Halloumi.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted? How dairy.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat? Edam.
What kind of cheese makes the best music? Brieoncé.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door? I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.
What did the ball of mozzarella say as it was getting shredded? I’m falling to pizzas.
What did the man say when someone threw dough, tomato sauce, and cheese at him? You wanna pizza me?

Q & A Jokes

When can’t you see a cheese? When it’s pasterised.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning? Halloumi.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted? How dairy.
What kind of cheese makes the best music? Brieoncé.
What did the ball of mozzarella say as it was getting shredded? I’m falling to pizzas.
What did the man say when someone threw dough, tomato sauce, and cheese at him? You wanna pizza me?
Do you want to hear a cheesy joke? Nevermind, it’s no gouda.
What do you call a cheese’s enemy? His arch nemeswiss.
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Because of baby cheese-us.
What happened when the air conditioning in the cheese factory broke? There was a meltdown.
What did the cheese say in the haunted house? I got to get out of here, I’m lac-ghost intolerant.
What is cheese without a cracker? Crackalackin.
How does cheese get curly hair? It gets a perm-esean.
When shouldn’t you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it’s too Gouda be true.
What do you say to someone who is trying to steal your cheese? This is nacho cheese.
What’s the fanciest cheese hotel? The Stilton.
Did you hear the cheesy weather forecast? Rain with light Bries.
What kind of music does cheese listen to? R’n’brie.
What’s a cheese’s favorite holiday? Halloumi-ween.
What’s a cheese’s favorite TV channel? The Brie Brie C.
What did the cheese say to the therapist? I camembert it any longer.
What did Mr. Cheese say to the shop assistant when she selected the wrong size dress for his wife? That won’t Feta.
What is cheese’s favorite pasta? Feta-cine.
What classical music does cheese love? Mozart-ella.
How did the cheese runner lose the race? He tripped on the final curdle.
Where did the cheese go on vacation? The Golden Grate Bridge.
Which cheese does the pope like most? Swiss cheese, it’s holey.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar? His pick-up line was too cheesy.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class? I dis a brie.
What does a cheese shout at slasher movie? Look out, the killer’s brie-hind you.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever? Edam and Eve

Kids’ Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese? Gorgonzilla.
Which cheese does the pope like most? Swiss cheese, it’s holey.
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Because of baby cheese-us.
What’s a cheese’s favorite holiday? Halloumi-ween.
Did you hear the cheesy weather forecast? Rain with light Bries.

One-Liners

A guy opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese. It’s a hole business strategy.

A girl had an addiction to cheddar cheese but it was only mild.

A good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder is to ask ‘is it brie you’re looking for?’.

It’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover when they tell you they are pretty fondue you.

Last night, I watched a documentary about mozzarella cheese. It was G-rated.

If Cinderella made pizzas for a living, would she be called Mozzarella?

I was told my jokes were cheesy, but I think they’re pretty Gouda.

This might sound so cheesy, but I think you are really grate.

My wife spent years perfecting macaroni and cheese from the box. It took a long time, but she finally honed her Kraft.

When mozzarella, cheddar, and parmesan rent a small beach house together its called cottage cheese.

Free Printable Jokes

Want these jokes in a cut-out-and-go format? I’ve made a free printable PDF with 10 of the funniest cheese jokes. Perfect for cards, lunchboxes, or just leaving one on the mirror. There’s no sign-up needed, just click and instantly download 🙂