Funniest Bread Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of bread puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Bread puns and jokes

1. What do bakers like to get for their birthday? Flours.
2. What did the butter say to the bread? I’m on a roll.
3. What is the best way for a baker to get a rise in pay?  Ask for more dough.
4. Why do we call money dough? Because we all knead it.
5. How does bread remember things? It uses toast-it notes.
6. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”
7. What is a baker’s favorite time of year? Yeaster.
8. How do you make dog bread? Just use collie flour.
9. What’s the most sophisticated kind of bread? The upper crust.
10. What did the toast say to the psychic? You bread my mind.
11. Why was the chef surprised that anyone liked his bread? He thought it was crumby.
12. What does a bread say to win over friends? You can crust me.
13. When is a loaf of bread like a golf ball? When it has been sliced.
14. What does the bread sing when learning musical scales? Dough, Re, Mi.
15. What did the bag of flour say when she bumped into the loaf of bread? Didn’t I see you yeasterday?
16. What did the bread say to the roll when they were playing hide and seek? Bready, or not here I crumb.
17. What did the baker say to his customers when his bread didn’t rise? Sorry, I did the yeast I could.
18. Why did the baker rob the bank? He kneaded some dough.
19. Why was the loaf of bread upset? His plans kept going a rye.
20. How do you get a raise at the bread factory? Butter up your boss.
21. Why did the baker go to jail? He was caught beating an egg.
22. Have you seen the romantic comedy about bread? It’s called “Loaf Actually”.
23. What songs do bread loaves hate? The golden moldies.
24. Why was the bread actor so unhappy? She didn’t get the roll.
25. What did mama bread say to her kids? It’s way past your breadtime.
26. What happens when you burn bread? You loaf it to death.
27. When does sourdough bread rise? When you yeast expect it.
28. What sorts of shoes do bakers like to wear? Loafers.
29. Who is that handsome star in the Hollywood baking movie? Bread Pitt.
30. What did a slice of bread say after brushing his teeth? I’m bready for bed.
31. Where does a baker stay on vacation? At a bread & breakfast.
32. I think you knead your bread examined.
33. I heard the baker had a loaf changing experience.
34. Bread puns never gets stale.
35. I will mop the flour with you in a bread pun battle.
36. Half-baked bread puns are the worst.
37. A bread baker’s bread factory burned down. Now her business is toast.
38. The best bread jokes are yet to crumb.
39.  A baker gave me some sweet bread, it was pretty sourdough.
40. If you order pita bread twice, does that make it repita bread?
41. Got to work your buns off because you knead the dough.
42. What did the baker say as he waved goodbye to the French bread? I’ll never baguette you.
43. What happens if a baguette forgets his umbrella? He will get soaking wheat all over.
44. Why was the baker feeling anxious? Because she was in a loaf or death situation.
45. Why doesn’t bread like warmer weather? Because it gets too toasty.
46. What do you call a flying bagel? A plane bagel.
47. Why did bread break up with margarine? For a butter lover.
48. Why did the dog jump on the counter and take a bite out of the bread? Puppy loaf.
49. Why does everyone need bread and water? Loaf makes the world go round.
50. How do the French get bread home? They baguette.
51. Why was the bread acting clingy? Because it kneaded attention.
52. What is the baker’s favorite TV show? The Walking Bread.
53. Why did the loaf of bread break up with his girlfriend? The relationship was crumbling.
54. How do you spot a radical baker? They’re always going against the grain.
55. What do the sun and bread have in common? They both rise in the yeast.
56. How do you say hello to German bread? Gluten tag.
57. What do you say to a piece of toast that’s fallen face down on the floor? Butter luck next time.
58. What kind of bread does Dr Who not like eating? Dalek bread
59. What do you call the baker who earns the most money? The bread-winner.
60. What do flour and yeast need? A loaf nest.
61. What do elves make sandwiches with? Short-bread.
62. What do you call a rabbit who has spent too long in the sun? A hot cross bun-ny.
63. What did the muffin say to the crumpet? You deserve butter than this.
64. Why does bread looks so bad in photographs? It’s just too grainy.
65. What did one slice of bread say to the other slice of bread when she saw butter and jam on the table? We are toast.
66. What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend? You deserve butter.
67. What did the slice of bread say to the cheese? You’re the best thing since me.
68. Why was the bread maker so grumpy? She woke up on the wrong side of the bread.
69. How does bread relax after it’s finished baking? It loafs around.
70. What’s the worst thing about a bread pun? It tends to get stale.
71. What do you call holy bread? Jesus Crust.
72. What is a bakers favorite Beatles song? Loaf is all you knead.
73. What do you call bread that has been baked by Shakespeare? Poet-rye.
74. Why did the ageing loaf of bread retire? Because his career was toast.
75. Why did the two slices of bread run away from the bakery? They wanted to grow mold together.