Boyfriend Jokes - One Liners, Puns + Free Printable!

Looking for some laughs about love? These boyfriend jokes are perfect for anyone who’s been in a relationship… or is glad they’re not anymore.

And if you want to stick a few in his lunch or leave one in a card, there’s a free printable set at the bottom too.

My Top 10

Why is Spider-Man a bad boyfriend? He’s super clingy.
My boyfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
My boyfriend started a honey farm to help save the bees. I think he’s a keeper.
My boyfriend accidentally poked me in the eyes. So, I stopped seeing him for a while.
My boyfriend is upset that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
Why did the astronaut break up with her boyfriend? Because she needed some space.
Do you like my shirt? It’s made out of boyfriend material.
What did the cheese say to her boyfriend? We look gouda to-feta.
What did the otter say to her boyfriend? I feel like we’re drifting apart. Maybe it’s time to see otter people.
What’s the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football? The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer.

Q&A Jokes

Why did the shrimp break up with her boyfriend? Because he was really shellfish.
What do you do if your boyfriend hates fruit jokes? You let the man-go.
What do you call a construction worker with four boyfriends? Polyhammerus.
What’s a boyfriend’s idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
How do you get your boyfriend to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his feet.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend? Because he was a boar.
Why did the mushroom break up with her boyfriend? Because he was toxic.
What does a boyfriend and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion

One-Liners

I had to break up with my boyfriend over the Wi-Fi. We just had no connection.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend. He keeps asking for another shot.

I told my boyfriend to text me when he got home. He must be homeless.

My boyfriend and I always laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh harder.

A girl saw her boyfriend flirting with other girls at the gym. She walked up to him and said, “This isn’t working out.”

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin me.

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.

Barbie’s boyfriend was involved in a serious toy car accident. So they contacted his next of Ken.

My boyfriend is in the hospital after he ate a giant cheeseburger. It was mine.

My boyfriend knows how understanding I am. That’s why he always calls me Miss Understanding.

Free Printable Jokes

Want these jokes in a cut-out-and-go format? I’ve made a free printable PDF with 10 of the funniest boyfriend jokes. Perfect alongside a love note, or pop into your boyfriend’s bag for him to find. There’s no sign-up needed, just click and instantly download 🙂