Funny Beaver Jokes – One Liners, Puns + Free Printable

These beaver jokes won’t build a dam across the river, but they might stop the conversation while everyone’s laughing.

Dive into the best beaver wordplay on the web, then snag the free printable at the end and spread the chuckles downstream.

My top 10

Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was juve’niles
How does a beaver get online? He logs in.
What do beavers like to put on their salads? Branch dressing.
What did the river say to the beaver? Nothing, it just waved.
What did the sign for the party for beavers say? Beaver or be square
Why was the beaver was found guilty? Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
What is a beaver’s favourite rap artist? Timber-land
What does beaver chili taste like? Like a normal chili, but little otter
What is a beaver’s most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale
What did the river ask the beaver? Water you doing today?

Q&A Jokes

What did the beaver say when it saw its home on fire? Dam!
What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you.
What did the beaver say when he slipped in water? Damn it!
Did you watch that beaver documentary? It was the best dam show!
What do you call a lazy beaver? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
Why did the beaver need an alarm clock? It was too dam early.
What is a beaver’s favourite snack? Wood chips.
Where do beavers sleep? On a river bed.
What did a river say when seeing beavers for the first time? Well I’ll be dammed!
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma’dame.
Where do beavers keep their money? In the riverbank.
Why are beavers always happy? They don’t give a dam.
Why are beavers so good at maths? They love log-arithms.
Did you hear about the beaver who learned to code? It was the best dam program ever made.
What did one beaver say to the other when he fell in the river? Dammit!
Why was the beaver mad? No one came to his damn party.
What’s the worst part about being a beaver? It’s a lot of dam work.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors? They mind their own dam business.
Why was the beaver too cool for the river? It was too mainstream.
What did the beaver say to the scout trying to recruit him? Your offer is too dam low.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? They use spring water.
Who’s a beaver’s favorite pop singer? Justin Beaver.
Why don’t you ever find beavers at sea? They lack gnaw-tical experience.

Kid’s Beaver Jokes

Where do beavers sleep? On a river bed.
What is a beaver’s favorite snack? Wood chips.
What do beavers like to put on their salads? Branch dressing.

Beaver One Liners

Someone once challenged me to tell a joke about beavers. I said dam, I can’t .

I should start making friends with beavers. They always seem to give a dam

The hipster beaver refused to swim in the river He said it was too mainstream.

“Frankly, my dear,” said the male beaver, “I don’t give a dam.”

A beaver walks into a bar and the bartender asks: You want a drink? To which the beaver replied ‘GNAW.

I saw a beaver movie last night it was the best dam movie I’ve ever seen.

Hey girl, are you a beaver? Cause damn.

Beavers always get in trouble for illegal streaming.

Beavers are so chill. They just go with the flow.

Knock knock! Whose there? Beaver! Beaver who? Be-very-quite, I’m hiding.

My Dutch guinea pigs want to become beavers. They’re building a Hamsterdam.

Free Printable Beaver Jokes

Want these jokes in a cut-out-and-go format? I’ve made a free printable PDF with 10 of the funniest beaver jokes. Perfect for cards, lunchboxes, or just leaving one on the mirror. There’s no sign-up needed—just click and instantly download 🙂