Funniest Airplane Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of airplane puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Plane puns and jokes

1. Would you like to hear an airplane joke? No, you’re probably going to miss it.
2. When Chuck Norris walks through airport security, he makes them take off their shoes.
3. What did they call the company that makes rubber planes? Boing.
4. Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? It was overbooked.
5. You know why blind people don’t jump out of airplanes? It scares the dog.
6. What do you call when you’re sick of going to the airport? Terminal illness.
7. What did the airplane say to the helicopter? Mad props, yo.
8. I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case.
9. My Dad really wanted me to make paper planes with him. Eventually I folded.
10. What do you call a space pilot who lives dangerously? Han YOLO.
11. What do you call traveling on a flying carpet? A rugged experience.
12. Did you hear about the new TV show about a plane crash? The pilot was horrible.
13. Did you hear about the bad plane joke? It didn’t land.
14. I told a joke about an airplane to my friends, but they didn’t laugh. It flew over their heads.
15. My friend started a business selling airplanes. It’s really starting to take off.
16. A pilot should never be homeless…since he will look for a place to crash.
17. Meals during a flight are always plane and tasteless.
18. I designed a rubber plane that is crash proof. It’s called the Boing 747.
19. What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane chocolate.
20. Did you hear about the pilot who did well in interviews? He was great at landing a job.
21. What is the difference between a pessimist and an optimist? A pessimist made the seatbelts; an optimist built the airplane.
22. Did you know that there are more airplanes in the ocean than there are submarines in the air? I mean… it’s plane to sea.
23. What do you use to pack stuff for napping on a flight? A Nap-sack.
24. How often do planes crash? Only once.
25. What do you call the movie where pilots fight to take off? The Hanger Games.
26. What kind of bagel can fly? A plane bagel.
27. What did the pilot say to his passengers after a rough landing? ‘Sorry, but it wasn’t my fault. It was the asphalt.’
28. Why can’t flies ever travel in an airplane? They are always in the No Fly List.
29. Why didn’t the passenger know how to use an oxygen mask? Because the flight attendant didn’t ex-plane it properly.
30. What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane chocolate.
31. What is it called when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?  A plane in the neck.
32. Why do Stormtroopers make the best pilots? They never hit anything.
33. Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing? Nah, I just can’t see them taking off.
34. Wanna hear an airplane joke? Nah it will probably fly over your head.
35. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite way of traveling? By an arrow-plane.
36. What do you call an airplane full of bald people? Receding airlines.
37. Where can you find Tom Cruise on a flight? In Risky Business.
38. How do rabbits travel? By Hare-oplane.
39. Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? Kitty-hawk.
40. What do you call a plane that can’t take off? An error plane.
41. What does an airplane builder say about their job? “It’s riveting.”
42. What did the football player say to the flight attendant? “Put me in coach.”
43. Why do people who are bad at bowling make the best pilots? Because they never hit anything.
44. Why didn’t the businessman’s airplane business become successful? Because it wouldn’t take off.
45. Why couldn’t the fighter jet pilot communicate with his co-pilot? He hadn’t broken the sound barrier yet.
46. How do flat-earthers travel the world? On a plane.
47. What do you call Harry Potter in a plane? The flying sorcerer.
48. What happens if you wear a watch on a plane? Time flies.
49. Why didn’t the flight attendant let me change my seat that time I sat next to a crying baby? They won’t do it if the baby’s yours.
50. Where can you find the Great Plains?  At the great airports.
51. What has a nose and flies but can’t smell? An airplane.
52. What makes spiders incapable of becoming pilots? Because they only know how to tailspin.
53. What should you do to achieve higher grades? Study in an airplane.
54. Did you hear about the young pilot who flew through a rainbow during his pilot’s exam? He passed with flying colours.
55. Why won’t a Redbull travel in an airplane? Because it already has wings.
56. What do you call a plane that flies backwards? A receding airline.
57. Who invented the first airplane that couldn’t fly? The Wrong Brothers.
58. What’s another name for the movie Snakes on a Plane? The Boeing Constrictor.
59. What’s the best place for a mountain climber to store his plane? In a cliff-hangar.
60. What do you call a flying primate? A hot air baboon.