Funniest Jokes About Brains – No AI!

Here is my curated list of the funniest brain puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Brain puns and jokes

1. Why are brains always anxious? They’re part of the nervous system.
2. Why did the brain refuse to take a bath? It didn’t want to be brainwashed.
3. What continues to work even after it is fired? A neuron.
4. What goes through a potato’s brain? Tater thoughts.
5. How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His drill slipped.
6. What do you call a human skull without a hundred billion neurons? A no-brainer.
7. What did the doctor say to the man who had an elephant sitting on his brain? It looks like you have a lot on your mind.
8. Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and the opera? Because they are very cultured.
9. Why can’t a brain be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
10. When does a brain get afraid? When it loses its nerve.
11. Where do all neurons keep their money? The brain bank.
12. During the summer, the brain family often goes to a hippo-camp for vacation.
13. When a brain commits a crime, it will be put in a nerve cell.
14. When we cross a light bulb and a thought, we have a bright idea.
15. Keeping tropical fish at home can have a truly calming effect on the brain. Due to all the indoor fins.
16. Brains are a funny thing… for example, did you know that if you tilt your head back and pretend you’re shaking salt onto your tongue, you will ACTUALLY taste the salt?
17. Perhaps you do not know this, but every brain love “wrap” music.
18. Ah the human brain… Really makes you think, doesn’t it?
19. What would neurons in the inside regions say to neurons in the outside regions of the brain during a motivational speech? “Stay positive!”
20. What do zombies eat with brains? Grave-y
21. People these days recoil at the idea of brain transplants becoming possible in the near future. Just wait until we develop the technology. They’ll change their minds.
22. What do you call a brain eating parasite in The USA? Malnourished.
23. What kind of bees eat brains? Zom-bees.
24. What kind of brain images do dogs and cats like best? PET scans.
25. What is the brain’s favorite television channel? The Neural Network.
26. The stomach is smarter than the brain. Because the stomach warns you when it is empty, the brain does not.
27. I finally figured out what’s wrong with my brain. On the left side, there is nothing right. On the right side, there is nothing left.
28. When I get bitten by insects, one part of my brain is like “be smart, leave it alone”. The other part is like “Scratch that”.
29. Brains and sponges are quite similar. Both of them always soak up materials.
30. This is the part of the brain where deja vu occurs and this is the part of the brain where deja vu occurs.
31. What television channel is the favorite of neurons? The Ion Channel.
32. What do neuroscientists call a scan of the brains of a family that can’t get along? A dysfunctional MRI.
33. What did the patient say when the neurosurgeon said she needed to remove a mass from his brain? Well, let me give you a piece of my mind.
34. How does the foot send messages to the brain? Toelaphone.
35. What’s the similarity between my brain and my computer hard drive? Both are actively deleting memory and I have no idea why.
36. Which kind of pictures does a brain often post to its Instagram page? Cellfies.
37. Why are e-mails important for brains? Because they receive and send a lot of messages every day.
38. I read somewhere we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is used for?
39. I took a drug to make my brain run faster. I’m still stupid, *but in high speed*
40. My brain is like an F-22 Raptor . Aging, no longer in production and spare parts not available.
41. When the left hemisphere disputes with the right hemisphere and cannot reach a compromise, what would it say? Let’s split.
42. When does a brain get afraid? When it loses its nerve.
43. When does it rain brains? During a brain storm.
44. What would the brain say when it is shocked by electricity? It is a very stimulating feeling.
45. I recently discovered I can move my sister’s daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.
46. I just learned that an octopus’s brain is wrapped around it’s oesophagus. That is food for thought.
47. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Brain Flakes.
48. My coworker is convinced that the government has implanted a microchip in his brain, and is controlling his thoughts. I told him it’s all in his head.
49. Did you hear about the person who wanted a brain transplant? He changed his mind.
50. How do neurons communicate with each other? Using cell phones.
51. What did one neuron say to the other? I’m excited.
52. What do bad nerves end up doing?  Joining a ganglion.
53. What kind of fish performs brain surgery? A neurosturgeon.
54. Why was the neuron sent to the principal’s office? It had trouble controlling its impulses.
55. What happens when your brain sees a friend across the street? It gives a brain wave.
56. What always gets on my nerves? Myelin.
57. Which kind of hat that a brain loves wearing most? It might be a thinking cap
58. What would a brain wear during a rainy day? It wears a cortex waterproof jacket.
59. Where to brain surgeons go to study? The hippocampus.
60. What chemical is released in your brain when you see something funny on the internet? Dopameme.