Funniest Pumpkin Jokes – Not AI!

Here is my curated list of pumpkin puns written by real people, no AI here! Enjoy!

Pumpkin puns and jokes

1. Where do pumpkins like to live? In the seedy part of town.
2. What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun? Go bungee gourd jumping.
3. What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin? Oh my gourd!
4. What are gourds afraid of? Things that go pumpk-in the night.
5. Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
6. When does a jack-o-lantern eat? As soon as you carve it a mouth.
7. What does a carved pumpkin celebrate? Hollow-een.
8. What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western? The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly
9. Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful? Because he’s empty-headed
10. How do gourds get to so strong? By pumpkin iron.
11. What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal? That was filling.
12. What do pumpkins eat at the movies? Pulp Corn.
13. Which English pop singer is most popular during the Thanksgiving holiday? Pumpkin Spice.
14. What name did the pumpkids call the school bully? Jerk-o-lantern.
15. What did one Pumpkin say to the other? Happy Hollowing!
16. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
17. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin? You look a little sick.
18. Who does a jack-o-lantern fear? The fairy godmother because she will turn him back into a pumpkin.
19. Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to go on the roller coaster? It didn’t have the guts.
20. Why was the jack-o-lantern all cut up? Because it was Halloween.
21. How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music? On vine-yl.
22. What’s orange and faster than a speeding train? Super Pumpkin.
23. What’s the problem with overeating pumpkin pie this time of year? You’ll get autumn’y ache.
24. What do you call a gourd’s family members? Pump-kin.
25. What kind of animal loves pumpkins? Orange-atans.
26. Who did the gardener say when his squash went missing? There’s pumpkin strange happening around here.
27. Who is the leader of all pumpkins? The Pumpking.
28. How did the winter squash pay for things? It used pumpkin bread.
29. Why do pumpkins do so bad in school? Because they had all their brains scooped out.
30. When is an orange not an orange? When it’s a pumpkin.
31. How are pumpkins like cats? They’re often waiting on the porch for you when you get home.
32. What do you call a pretty pumpkin? Gourdgeous.
33. Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
34. What did George Strait say to the pumpkin? I’m here for a gourd time.
35. What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Cut it out!
36. What do surfers say on Halloween? Gourd vibes only, bro.
37. How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
38. What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock-o-lantern.
39. What did the queasy pumpkin say? I don’t feel so gourd.
40. Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
41. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
42. Why did the pumpkin take a detour? To avoid a seedy part of town.
43. Why was Cinderella sticky at the ball? Because she went there in a pumpkin.
44. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker? Use apples, instead.
45. What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball? Michael Gourdan.
46. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
47. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
48. When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it, then it’s squash.
49. How do pumpkins get up to the roof? They use a jack-o-ladder.
50. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving? Good-pie, everyone.
51. What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin? Oh my gourd.
52. Why do jack-o-lanterns sit on people’s porches? They don’t have the guts to knock on the door.
53. What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
54. When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say? I’m vine, thanks for asking.
55. Why do pumpkins get their brains scooped out before Halloween? So the zombies won’t eat them.
56. What kind of night lights do vampires prefer to use? Jack-o-lanterns.
57. What did the orange pumpkin ask the green pumpkin? “Are you a zombie?”
58. Where do pumpkins hold meetings? In the gourdroom.
59. Why do jack-o-lanterns look up to scarecrows? Because they have been looking up to them since they were tiny pumpkins.
60. What do you call a barking pumpkin? A gourd dog.
61. What did one pumpkin say to the pumpkin who asked where the patch was? Ah, a talking pumpkin!
62. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.
63. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
64. What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun? Go bungee gourd jumping.
65. Why did everyone think the jack-o-lantern was evil? It had a wicked candle inside it.
66. How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction? Apply the pumpkin patch.